What Are You Saving Your Life For?
Oct 31, 2026
Article by Heather Russell
I've been living in the south of France for a little over a year now, and one of the things I appreciate about being here is how much pleasure people seem to take in ordinary life.
A coffee at a café. A long lunch. Sitting outside with friends and talking for hours. Walking along the Mediterranean simply because it's a beautiful afternoon.
Of course, people here have jobs, bills, responsibilities, and problems like everyone else. France isn't some magical place where nobody worries about money or the future.
But living here has made me think quite a bit about how easily we postpone the things we say we want to enjoy.
Especially when we're very good at being responsible.
I've met women who have worked hard for decades, built successful careers, raised families, made sensible financial decisions, and created lives they're genuinely proud of. They've earned the money, developed the skills, and accumulated enough experience to know what matters to them.
And yet, when the conversation turns to something they'd love to experience, there's often a reason it needs to wait.
Maybe next year.
When things settle down.
When there's a little more money in the bank.
When the business is more established.
When the kids are older.
When the timing is better.
I understand being practical. I spent more than 25 years managing complex projects in corporate environments where anticipating problems and making contingency plans was part of my job.
I appreciate the value of thinking ahead.
But I've become increasingly interested in what happens when preparing for the future becomes the way we spend most of our present.
There's always a reason to wait
Look at the world we're living in.
There's economic uncertainty, political tension, conflict, and a constant stream of information telling us what we should be concerned about next. People are understandably thinking about their financial security and what the coming years might bring.
I'm not suggesting we ignore any of that. I believe in being informed, asking questions, and making decisions based on our own circumstances.
But I also think it's worth noticing how much authority we give uncertainty over the way we live.
Perhaps you've been wanting to take a trip, but you've decided to wait until the economy improves.
Maybe you've been considering a career change or starting something of your own, but the news has you questioning whether now is the right time.
Or perhaps the things you're postponing are much smaller.
Booking the massage. Taking an afternoon off. Going to the restaurant you've wanted to try. Buying flowers for yourself. Spending an evening doing something you enjoy without feeling you should be accomplishing something.
Sometimes waiting is absolutely the right decision.
Other times, we've become so accustomed to preparing for what might happen that we barely notice how often we're declining what could happen now.
And there's something else I've noticed.
When we keep postponing enjoyment, we can begin to treat it as a reward that belongs to some future version of ourselves.
The woman who has enough money.
The woman who has everything organized.
The woman who has finally reached the point where nobody needs anything from her.
I wonder how many of us have an actual definition of that point.
The retirement account and the beautiful life
I want women to have money. Plenty of it, if that's what they desire.
I want them to understand their finances, build wealth, invest wisely, and have options. Financial independence can give a woman tremendous freedom in how she chooses to live.
But I'm also interested in what she wants that freedom for.
It's possible to become so focused on accumulating money, protecting it, or reaching the next financial milestone that we rarely stop to consider what we'd enjoy doing with it.
And the same thing can happen with time.
We spend years working toward the freedom to decide how we'll spend our days. Then, when an opportunity arrives to enjoy an afternoon for ourselves, we feel uncomfortable taking it.
We look around for something useful to do.
We check our phones.
We start thinking about tomorrow.
I find that fascinating.
We say we want freedom, yet sometimes the experience of having it feels unfamiliar.
I don't think we talk enough about that.
What does enjoyment bring up for you?
Here's something I'd love you to experiment with.
Think of an experience you've been wanting. It doesn't need to be expensive or extraordinary. Perhaps it's a weekend away, taking a dance class, having a leisurely breakfast somewhere beautiful, or spending an entire Sunday doing whatever you please.
Choose something you genuinely want.
Now imagine you've decided to do it.
Pay attention to what happens before you've even made a reservation or put it on your calendar.
Does your mind immediately start calculating the cost?
Do you think about what else you could accomplish with that time?
Are you already preparing an explanation for someone?
Maybe you feel excited. Perhaps there's a little guilt. You might notice tension in your shoulders or stomach as you consider giving yourself something simply because you'd enjoy it.
I'm interested in those responses because they can tell us a great deal about the rules we've absorbed.
Rules about money, productivity, pleasure, responsibility, and what makes something worth doing.
Some of those rules may have served us very well.
Others might deserve another look.
Take a moment to feel your feet on the floor and allow your body to settle. Imagine yourself enjoying the experience without having to explain or justify it.
See what comes up.
You don't need to force yourself into a decision. I'm much more interested in your ability to notice the assumptions influencing it.
Because when a woman can recognize those automatic responses, she has an opportunity to consider whether she still wants to live by them.
Moving to France didn't make life perfect
I want to be clear about something.
Moving to France was a choice my husband and I made about how we wanted to live. It didn't eliminate responsibility, uncertainty, or the practical realities of everyday life.
We still have things to manage, decisions to make, and circumstances we can't control.
But I get to experience a life that includes things I genuinely enjoy.
Walking through the streets of Nice. Discovering another little café. Buying a chocolate croissant from a bakery where we've gotten to know the owners. Being near the sea.
I don't need every day to be an extraordinary adventure.
And I certainly don't believe you need to move to another country to enjoy your life.
What I do believe is that we have more opportunities to make deliberate choices about our experience than we sometimes recognize.
You might love the home you're in, the career you've built, and the people you share your life with.
Wonderful.
What else would you enjoy?
What have you been curious about?
What would make an ordinary week feel richer, more interesting, more pleasurable?
And what if you began giving those questions the same attention you've spent years giving your responsibilities?
You have a lot of living left to do
There's a reason I'm so interested in this conversation with accomplished women, particularly those in their forties, fifties, and beyond.
You've spent years developing your abilities and creating a life. You have experience, perspective, knowledge, and perhaps a much clearer understanding of what you enjoy than you did twenty years ago.
There's so much available to explore.
You might want to build something new, make more money, travel, deepen your relationships, experience more intimacy, or discover interests you've never made time for.
You might simply want to enjoy being the woman you've become.
I think that's worth taking seriously.
And I think it's worth questioning the idea that we should wait until the world feels more predictable before we begin.
We can be informed, prepared, and thoughtful about the future while making room for pleasure and possibility today.
That's part of what led me to create FULLY HER., my ongoing Decondition HER™ mastermind.
I wanted a place where accomplished women could bring the things they're actually navigating in their lives, along with the things they want to experience.
We explore the patterns that influence their choices, the assumptions they've stopped questioning, and the ways those responses show up in the body. Through live recalibrations, group mentoring, and an intimate community, we make room for women to practice choosing differently in their everyday lives.
And we talk about the things they want more of. Wealth, freedom, relationships, pleasure, adventure, self-trust, and whatever else matters to them.
I love the idea of women having a place where their desires receive as much attention as everything they're responsible for.
If you've been thinking about what you'd like the coming years of your life to look and feel like, I'd love to have you join us.
In the meantime, I'd like to leave you with something to consider.
Think about one experience you've been saving for later.
If it's genuinely important to you, what would it take to begin making room for it now?
Because the future will always have questions we can't answer.
And there's a beautiful life available to experience while we're figuring things out.
About Heather Russell
Heather Russell mentors high-achieving women who are ready to question the patterns, identities, and conditioning shaping how they live, lead, and create. Drawing on decades of experience studying human behavior, embodiment, and subconscious patterning, she brings awareness and embodied practice together so women can make choices from greater power, pleasure, and self-trust. She is the creator of Decondition HER™ and author of The Deconditioning on Substack.
Stay connected with news and updates!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
