How Understanding Your Protection Pattern Unlocks Healing

healing integrative regression method kelli murphy-cohen Oct 14, 2026

When we struggle with anxiety, withdrawal, or people-pleasing, our first impulse is often to fight or shame ourselves for reacting that way. We try to force ourselves to "stop overthinking" or "be more assertive," only to find ourselves right back in the same emotional loop the next time stress strikes.

This happens because these behaviors are governed by your subconscious nervous system, which views them as essential survival mechanisms.

Lasting transformation doesn't come from forcing yourself to change. It begins with self-compassion and understanding why your brain chose that specific pattern to keep you safe. Here are three steps to shift from automatic protection to emotional freedom.

1. Identify Your Default Survival Response

Whether your nervous system defaults to fight/flight (anxiety), freeze (shutting down), or fawn (people-pleasing), identifying your primary coping style brings immediate clarity. Recognizing the trigger takes away its power to hijack your behavior.

2. Honor the Pattern’s Original Purpose

Your survival pattern was originally built to keep you safe during moments of vulnerability. Acknowledging that your anxiety, freeze response, or people-pleasing served a protective role allows you to drop self-judgment and meet yourself with more kindness.

3. Notice the Emotion Behind the Reaction

Talking yourself out of a reaction rarely works in the moment. IRM helps you notice the emotion behind the reaction as it happens, so you can choose a new response.

Moving from Survival to True Emotional Mastery

You don't have to remain trapped in automatic coping loops forever. When you learn to listen to what your protective patterns are telling you, you can guide your mind and body back into a state of authentic safety and peace.

To help you pinpoint which pattern is protecting you and explore tools—including The Self-Paced Session Experience and IRM Level 1 certification—Kelli Murphy-Cohen and Integrative Regression Method invite you to take their free 3-minute quiz.

Which pattern is protecting you? Find out free.

Anxiety, shutting down, or people-pleasing: one of them shows up when things get hard. The free three-minute assessment shows you which one is protecting you. Then explore the new book, The Self-Paced Session Experience and IRM Level 1 certification, all in one place.

Take the Free Assessment

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