Busting the Myth: Overspending is not a budgeting problem—it’s a spending problem.
May 27, 2024
Article By Mary Ann Stenquist
Have you ever gotten the advice to ‘just stop spending’ or ‘just make a budget?’ Did it work? If you are reading this, probably not.
If you are like me, you have tried to budget multiple times. And you’ve probably tried multiple budgets. But I’m going to bust a common myth about spending: Overspending is not a budgeting problem—it’s a spending problem. In order to meet your savings goal in any budget, you have to spend within your limits. If you can’t spend within those limits you won’t be able to save.
But budgets don’t give you tools to specifically target overspending. With a budget, you are usually looking at the numbers before you spend or after you’ve spent; so in case you intend to return EVERYTHING you just spent money on, a budget doesn’t help overspending.
So how do we deal with overspending? How do we get tools to stop spending before it happens.
I had these same questions and same struggles throughout my years of struggling with overspending. I studied everything I could in books, articles, and magazines, trying to understand how to stop spending. I literally typed into Google, ‘how to stop spending before it happens.’ But all that came up was how to make a budget, which hadn’t addressed my overspending.
I was convinced there was a deeper reason behind why shopping felt like such a need and not a want—so I did my own research. What I found amazed me. There is a physiological reaction in the brain and body that triggers our urge to shop, and yet nobody is talking about it. Spending is only taught in terms of a budget, but not how to stop spending before it happens. Understanding the science and psychology behind spending was fundamental in ending my battle with overspending.
I had been saying for years that I wanted to do better with money, but it wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I made the conscious decision to change. I suffer from chronic migraine and have struggled with daily migraines for over five years. This diseased, coupled with a young family and a husband working out of the home, left me desperate for help. I didn’t have family support available so it was all up to me; and I was drowning.
I would have given anything for help with my kids, help with the housework, or even to buy back time to do things for me. But I couldn’t—it was too expensive. Or so I thought.
Instead of looking at where they money should go in terms of a budget, I started looking at where it was actually going. I was shocked. I had claimed that we couldn’t afford housecleaning services and yet I was spending ten times the amount I needed on things I didn’t need or even care about: fast food, convenience stores, clothing I liked one day and didn’t wear the next.
We often have a list of things we would do or buy if we were given a million dollars. Our dream house or vacation. But what would we do with a thousand dollars? A million dollars can buy a life of luxury, but what are the little luxuries we want? Things that would make our day to day enjoyable. A million dollars is not likely, but a few hundred dollars—that is within our reach right now! In fact, it is likely already possible, but the money is being spent unintentionally elsewhere.
As a Spending Coach, I am passionate about teaching women how to become unshoppable- to resist the urge to shop, so they can afford the life they want with the money they already have; money that is being spent on things they don’t really care about. We as women deserve to afford the life we want—to pick up our kids from school if we wish or leave the job we hate. Or to afford little luxuries like housecleaning services or childcare.
Whatever it is, I want you to take back control for your life and your money. Learning and living the skills I teach has truly changed my life. Before, I truly was enslaved to shopping. Now I can honestly say that I don’t have that uncontrollable urge to shop. I still enjoy going out and shopping, but I am not driven by it. I feel like I have my life back and I am finally living a life full of possibilities, now that I have the funds to make my financial dreams a reality.
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